Mark McVeigh Hates My Book (Poor Pitiful Me!)

I had my Mark McVeigh critique tonight. He hated my Rudy story. Since most of you haven't read it, the notes probably won't mean much to you. Then again...maybe you can still learn a thing or two on my $35!

*He liked the barnyard setting. (Whatever, he had to say something nice, right? That's how critiques start.)

*Avoid overly poetic language, e.g. "kiss the sky." (Rudy rose from the roost just as the sun rose to kiss the morning sky. -- first line of book!)
*Avoid throwing rhymes into a prose picture book. ( I have little rhymes...The animals tell him, "Haven't you heard, bird? Roosters don't rock!" He replies to each set of animals with a rhyme of his own, such as: "I'll show you silly filly. You'll prance, you'll dance when you give me the chance.")
*Rudy isn't developed as a character. Work on him. (He said that Olivia is a well-developed character.)
*Why does everyone think roosters don't rock? It comes out of nowhere. (He suggested a fix here--maybe the King of the barnyard declares this, and so it is how things are in the barnyard.)
*Climax of story is too obvious. (Rudy prevails. Well...duh!)

Poor, pitiful me! I guess that's what I get to subjecting myself to Writer Idol. Now, I'll really whine....



I'll post another update after we hear the speakers tomorrow!